For those that don't know, Song is Delta Airlines attempt to stay out of total bankruptcy.

It's a subsidiary of Delta that specializes in cheap airfares and glitzy marketing. Each seat has a small monitor for your viewing pleasure, along with "gourmet" food which is available for purchase. The airline markets itself, as "hip" and "new".

To be honest, their service is even worse than the ever decreasing service one receives from their parent company.

And they hate fat luggage.

No I'm serious, but I'll get to that in a minute.

My wife and were heading to New England in September of 2005. We were scheduled to arrive in Boston on Song airlines. I had purchased the tickets in June, so that we could be seated in the emergency exit row. I'm tall, so I like the extra leg room.

Everything went according to plan, until my wife made one simple request. She asked for a seat belt extension. Now, my wife isn't really that big, but normal airplane seat belts are just too tight for her. An extension makes it more comfortable for her.  So as usual, she asked for an extension as we sat down. The flight attendant immediately said "then you can't sit in the emergency exit row".

"Why not" I asked, "We are perfectly willing and able to perform the required emergency exit procedures"

"It's a policy of our airline" I was told, "No seat belt extensions in the emergency exit row"

It then became obvious to me that Song hates big people.

They also hate fat luggage, but I'll get to that in a minute.

There wasn't much we could do, since I didn't want my wife to be uncomfortable for the 3 hour flight. I was also concerned that any protests aboard an aircraft would potentially lead to arrest as a "potential terrorist". In the Post 911 world of air travel, the traveler has almost no rights.

Therefore, we were relegated to the back of the airplane.

It was a long walk of shame.

Somehow, I began to understand how Rosa Parks must have felt.

Fortunately, we were the only two in our row of three seats, so the flight wasn't too bad. It was just a bit confining for my long legs.

Apparently, Song hates tall people too.

And they hate fat luggage.

I tell you this because of what happened when we arrived at the airport for our return flight.

The annual autumn changing of the leaves was late this year; so instead my wife and I went shopping. We found many bargains in New England, which made for heavy luggage. Not "bulging at the seams" heavy, but just well packed.

It wasn't too heavy for me to lift, so I figured the airline wouldn't have an issue with it.

I was wrong as usual.

Upon arriving at the Song Airlines ticket counter, I was greeted with the following words: "Luggage must weigh less than 50 pounds"

No "good morning", "Hello" or "Destination, please", just one old crone who eyed my luggage with a suspicious eye.

Upon weighing the luggage, we discovered that one bag weighed 57 pounds and the other was 53 pounds. "The luggage is too heavy" the counter harpy proclaimed, "that will cost an extra $75 per bag".

OK STOP...

The FAA allows you to bring 2 bags per person along on the flight. Each bag can weigh up to 50 pounds. Two people times 4 bags times 50 pounds is 200 pounds. My total luggage weight was 110 pounds. I was 90 pounds under my limit...right?

Actually, no. The baggage handlers don't like heavy bags, so anything over 50 pounds must carry an "excess weight" fee. Most airlines don't mind if you fudge the weight by a few pounds. Song Airlines has decided to make a profit out of it.

Or maybe they just hate fat luggage. I'm not sure which, but I wasn't going to pay $150 for fat luggage.

I carefully asked about my options. I say carefully, since any argument over luggage at today's airports can result in a full search. I could imagine my luggage strew across the tarmac, while government sniffer dogs searched weapons of mass destruction.  My choices were actually quite simple.

One, pay a $75 per bag fee, and we could be on our way.

Two, buy luggage at a store located conveniently close to the Song counter, than move the excess weight to that bag.

Three, buy a $10 box from Song, and pack it with 10 pounds of stuff.

Four, find a way to carry 10 pounds of luggage as carry on.

Since I'm cheap and lazy, I chose option three.

The counter lady wasn't happy.

I'm guessing Song Airlines makes a tidy profit from the "excess weight" fee, and that  luggage store next to the counter probably gives kick backs.

I'm also guessing that there isn't much profit in a cardboard box; and that it's not a personal favorite for baggage handlers.

I also insisted on opening and transferring my luggage right at the counter, since I didn't want to wait in line again. The counter lady couldn't complain, since she was the one who sold me the box. I took my time, and only selected items that couldn't be harmed if the box became damaged. In the end, I had a 15 pound box that was sure to annoy every baggage handler who saw it.

The flight itself was fairly uneventful. We were allowed to sit in the exit row, since the plane jammed full of people. The attendants were in a hurry, so no one cared about the seat belt extension person in the emergency exit row. Which is a good thing, since at that point I had had enough of Song Airlines.

Here's some info for you:

In September of 2005, Delta airlines filed chapter 11 for bankruptcy protection.

62% of American adults are overweight.

The number of overweight children in the US has tripled in the last few years.

Carry-on restrictions are forcing traveler to pack heavier check-in luggage.

The FAA mandates luggage weight limits, which forces the airlines to cut weight in other areas. Ever wonder why there are no pillows or blankets on your last flight? What happened to the magazines? Hmmmm